Beef Stew

We all know that Global Warming isn't real and the government made it up to scare us, but for some other unexplained reason, its SO cold.

My freezer always has a lot of random meat in it that no one ever uses, so i decided to put that to use, instead of making soup for dinner.

Stew is a little thicker and more filling than soup, and with rice its a whole dinner! 

Good luck with the cold y'all. Or do what I do and stay home as much as possible. 

What you need:

2 onions 

garlic

About a dozen pieces (1 package) of meat (Filet steak, flanken....)

flour

5-7 carrots

5-7 celery stalks

2-3 potatoes

salt

pepper

red pepper flakes

basil

thyme

oregeno

paprika

cinnamon

chili powder

tomatoe paste

red wine

chicken/beef broth (or a consumme cube)

3-4 cans of different kinds of beans

(jalapeños if you want)

What you need to do:

1) coat the meat in flour, and peel, wash, and cut the carrots, celery, and potatoes. 

oh my god im so sorry for my iphone pictures. 

2) In a very big pot, sauté chopped onions and like 3 tablespoons garlic in a lot of oil (your gonna brown the meat in the oil so you want to have enough for that.

3) When the onion are like super translucent  put the meat in the pot and toss it a little. Cook it for about 5 minutes, flipping about halfway through so that both sides get cooked.

4) Pull the pieces of meat out of the pot, and put the veggies in. 

5) Season the veggies- I used all the spices and herbs that i mentioned before, but really ANYTHING goes in a stew. I cant tell u how much I used of each because I just kind of sprinkled it, but just start with a little and taste to see how it is. Cover the veggies and let them cook down on medium/low heat, about half an hour.

Im so embarrassed by these pictures ugh.

6) Mix up the veggies once they are boiled down, and add the can of tomato paste, and about a cup or two of wine. 

mmmmmmm red wine <3

7) Add like 3-4 cups of beef or chicken broth, either consume cubes or powder or like broth from a carton.

8) Mix it all up really good, put the fire to like a medium/low flame, cover the pot, and let it cook. Stur it every 20 minutes or so, so the bottom doesn't burn. Cook for about an hour, or until the meat is soft.

9) Add in the beans. I used 1 can of kidney, 1 of red, and 2 f black beans. I also put in like 10 pieces of pickled jalapeños that I clopped in a food processor (no picture, sorry). Cook for 10-15 more minutes. 

DONE. Serve over rice and enjoy 

Rock Candy "Crystal Meth" ala Breaking Bad

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm going to have trouble saying goodbye to Breaking Bad!!

Since tonight is the season finale, I decided to finally try the rock candy recipe thats been floating around the internet for a few weeks. 

According to the interweb, Aaron paul is as addicted to the blue candy as Jesse Pinkman is to Heisenburg's blue stuff. 

Super easy recipe  but if your gonna do it without a candy thermometer  DONT DO IT. I tried twice with a broken one (By the 3rd time I was just really determined to get it right) and it was just a disaster. If you dont cook it enough it wont harden, and if you cook it too much it will turn brownish and mess with the coloring (A lesson we learn from Todd.)

Anyways, enjoy tonight's finale, I'll be on my couch at 9 PM sharp if anyone wants to join me.

 I put mine in little baggies which promoted my dad to ask where I was going to sell.

Sayonara, Mister White! 

 *Shatra for Dummies does not in any way reccomend snorting, smoking, or injecting rock candy*

What You Need:

2 cups sugar

3/4 cup light corn syrup (Important to use light bc dark is brownish and wont make clear candy)

1/2 cup water

2 tsp of any CLEAR flavoring. So not like vanilla, or orange. I used McCormick's peppermint from fine fare.

A few drops Blue food coloring. I dont know exactly how food colorings work but I got a pretty good color with like 5 drops of McCormick's (again from fine fare)

Candy Thermometer

What you need to do:

1) Line a tray with tinfoil and spray it with pam. Once the candy is cooked your gonna wanna transfer it quick so its good to have this ready.

2) Put the sugar, corn syrup, and water into a medium pot. Put it on the stove on like medium heat but leaning towards the high side, and stir it. 

3) Keep stirring until it just begins to bubble on the sides. If you have a pastry brush handy, now would be a good time to brush the sides of the pan with water, bc it would let the candy bubble up and harden on your pan.

4) Stop Stirring once the candy starts to boil, and stick in your candy thermometer. 

 5) Let it boil for like 5 minutes, until the thermometer reaches 285 (i cant find the degrees sign but were talking about degrees Fahrenheit . You want the candy to get to 290, so turning off the heat at 285 will give it enough time to get to 290, but not over.

(see the temp? this is after i turned the heat off)

6) After you take if off the heat, let it cool for like a minute, till theres no more boiling. Dump in the flavoring a the food coloring, and mix it all up!! See how nice and blue its turning?!! I put like 5 drops of blue food coloring but I feel like it could've used one or two more. (99% purity BITCH)

iphone pix

7)Pour it onto the tray and spread it into an even sheet by like tinting the tray, then let it harden for like 20 minutes.

8) Use whatever you have to break it up into small pieces, and make it look as Heisenberg-esque as you can. Eat it when you get nervous at the show, break it up and serve at a viewing party in little bags, screw with  a parent who watched Breaking Bad, have fun with it.

Beer (in a diet Coke) Can Chicken

Its the summer, so anything involving beer, chicken, or BBQ peaks my intrest.

This phenomenal little bird combines all three!! So exciting. 

Not to mention an entire dinner is like less than $20.

Make it for dinner, at a bar-b-q, or just in the middle of the day and then call your friends to come eat it like I plan on doing. 

What you need

1 roasting chicken

1 can 

1/2 a can of beer
A wedge of an onion

(Make sure a can fits in the chicken before u do anything else!)

Spice rub: 

(measurements coming soon)

Salt

Brown Sugar

Pepper

Red pepper flakes

Paprika

Garlic Powder

Chili Powder

Ground Cumin

Cinnamon

What you need to do:

1) Make the spice rub. I used a basic chicken rub but it can get as basic or as fancy as you'd like. I cant give you EXACT measurements but I tried to measure as close as I could. It's really easy to add stuff later if it doesn't seem right. Its all in tablespoons cuz thats what I had

About 5 tablespoons brown sugar for the base

Then add in like a tablespoon and a half of Paprika. I should've put more but I ran out :( 

(how creepy is the coloring!! really hard to shoot on manual when my hands are in spices)

Next comes like a tablespoon of chili powder, maybe a little more for flavor.

Then like 1 and a half tablespoons garlic powder.

Less then half a tablespoon Cumin. Mine smells like crazy cumin and I only put half a teaspoon.

A little more than half a tablespoon cinnamon (or nutmeg)

2 and a half tablespoons salt

1 tablespoon ground black pepper

and finally like 3/4 tablespoons red pepper.

Voila!! chicken rub.

And then add in whatever else you think it needs! Mix it up and take a whiff.

Aren't spices amazing?

2) Now get your can ready. I only had beer in bottles, and Daniel wasnt around to buy me beer, so I used a diet coke can. Open the can and empty it, then your gonna want to take the top off. 

Use a can opener to cut off the top of any can your using, because that way the beer can flow straight into the chicken.

PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS WHEN CUTTING ALUMINUM!!!!

When you try and tuen it it will pop off of the opener after a little while. Be careful not to cut off the whole rim, just the top. 

Get the whole top off

And rinse out the can (if its something other then beer)

3) Grab a beer, any beer, and pour it into the can till its half full (or half empty I guess). I like corona and that was in my fridge so yeah whatever.

4) Put like half a cup of the rub into the can, and mix it up. Something about the rub will make the beer bubble and look super funny and gross, so just push it down with a spoon or something.

 5) Stick the can in the fridge and grab your chicken. Put her on a plate and start runnng her down. Dont be shy, get the rub EVERYWHERE.

Try and pull up the skin and get the rub inside it. Flip the chicken and do the same on the other side. 

RUBBBBBBB EVERYWHERE

6) Wrap up the chicken really good and put her in the fridge for an hour or two. Have a tuna sub, catch up on Newsroom, study for your bio final, write a blog post, do whatever u gotta while you let your baby marinade.

And clean up that mess u made on the counter! (pro tip: dont taste the rub, till its cooked the flavors are wayyy too strong for my palette)

7) Two hours later: Clean your grill, and turn on the side burners. You want to put fire around the chicken, not under it. 

8) Put the can on the grill and slide your soon-to-be delicious birdie onto it. 

 9) Stick the onion wedge into the top of the bird, like right under the neck, but dont let it fall in!

 If the chicken is like leaning to one side, try and use the legs to balace it on the grill 

10) Close the grill and cook it on like 325. My grill has a temperature gage, but if yours doesn't  just try and get as accurate as possible. Its probably gonna be with the burners at like medium.

Perfect

11) Leave the chicken cooking. For real dont even check it till like an hour in. Mine was a 4.41 pound chicken, and it took an hour and 35 minutes. Test if it is ready by sticking a knife into the middle of the thigh. 

If the juice comes out clear and not pink, its ready!

12) Tun off the grill and let the chicken cool for like 10 minutes.

How cute is she!!

Looks like shes jumping or something. Such a nugget <333

13) Really grab the chicken with one hand, and pull the can out with the other hand. Pour whatever is left out into the sink, and put the chicken onto a plate. Debone, or carve, and eat!!

 (No pics for this step, holding a chicken means cant hold a camera)